Moving Day

Dropping Your Child Off at College: A Parent’s Perspective

Parents and student getting ready for college moving day

The end of summer brings many things: shorter days, cooler weather and the first day of classes. For first-time college students, moving day and the prospect of living away from home for the very first time can be an exciting time. From the rush of receiving an acceptance letter to the campus that was first choice to the hours spent shopping to get the perfect accessories to decorate a new room, it’s a non-stop adventure.

As a firm that provides higher education planning and design, we focus on the campus experience and how it affects students, faculty, staff and parents. Lessons learned from our own teams’ experience offer insights that we can apply to future design. Two of our RLPS team members who recently dropped off their children at college for their first year were nice enough to share their experiences. Along with recounting how moving went, they also let us know how their kids… and they are adjusting.

The parents on our staff began with completely opposite levels of experience with preparing and dropping off children at college. One parent was moving their youngest of three children to an out-of-state university, a few hours’ drive away. The other was moving their oldest child to a college closer to home. Despite the marked difference in the distance travelled and parental familiarity with moving kids to college, they had similar experiences and feelings.

Getting Ready for the Move

After a student decides which college to attend, getting everything together to move into a residence hall doesn’t happen overnight. Our staff members and their kids started gathering items and packing for the move about a month before the big day. Prior to moving day, our staffer with a child attending a local college took part in all orientation sessions that were offered and visited the campus a few times. This not only helped get the student and parents comfortable with the campus but also provided an opportunity to learn what might or might not be needed.

Both the in-state and out-of-state institutions provided information to the incoming freshman and their families. Specifics included what items were provided in the residence hall rooms and what students needed to bring. While a floor plan of the room wasn’t provided, pictures of the room were readily available, so parents and students could see the layout of the space. Even though one of our staffers was an old pro at this, having already moved two older children to college, the information communicated by the school was helpful and appreciated.

Along with practical information regarding the students’ future living space, various online groups were available to incoming freshmen. The prospective students joined numerous social media groups which helped facilitate conversation and connection. There were groups for new and old residence halls residents, those with similar majors and even spaces for potential roommates to connect and get to know each other before day one. Today’s technology also allowed access to textbooks and other information ahead of time, making it much easier than waiting in long lines at the campus bookstore.

Moving Day

RLPS residence hall revitalization project (F&M College)

Moving for any reason can be quite stressful; no one really looks forward to carrying box after box. At college, hundreds of students and parents are descending on campus at the same time trying to get the same prime parking space further increasing stress levels. Both of the RLPS parents were happy to report that their experiences went well… and were easier than initially expected.

In one experience, the college’s football team was on hand to help empty cars and carry boxes into the residence hall. All the players needed was a room number, and in a few minutes everything that had been packed in the car disappeared. Our team member hardly had to lift a box.

Our other staffer was provided large rolling bins to move items. Moving became as easy as loading your belongings into the bins and rolling into the residence hall with all your things at one time.

RLPS residence hall revitalization project. (York College of Pennsylvania)

With a student moving out-of-state and a drive of several hours away, the family realized it wasn’t practical to squeeze everything into the car. Prior moving trips with their older kids also provided some insight into what items could be left home and easily bought later. A final Target run was completed for those things that didn’t make the final pack.

All the pre-planning and preparing for this move paid off for our team members. They didn’t forget many things. The calculator that was inadvertently left behind has been mailed, and a pair of dance shoes are scheduled to be delivered.

Move-In Day Orientation

Once everything was inside the room, it was time to get to know the students’ new home a bit better. Orientation activities were held at both institutions to introduce first-year students and parents to the campus.

At the out-of-state university, a freshman orientation took place over an entire week prior to the rest of the student body arriving on campus. Programs were provided to help students and parents get to know the campus itself as well as the city, since many of the students were arriving from out-of-town or state.

The in-state college also had orientation activities planned for move-in day. These activities were scheduled for both the student and parent. Our staffer who attended these thought that the number of events was a bit overwhelming. They shared that not only did the planned schedule make for an extremely long day, but it also created a very extended, drawn-out goodbye with their child.

RLPS higher education projects. (from left: Alvernia University, York College of Pennsylvania)

Back at Home

Both parents remarked on the change at home. For one, this recent moving day was completed for the youngest of three. They are suddenly left with an empty nest and a complete change of atmosphere at home.

While our other team member still has a child at home, they shared that the house is quieter and feels much emptier. They also aren’t quite used to being a trio: the family went out for dinner one night and automatically asked for a table for four.

This new normal will take some getting used to for both families. To help parents contend with all the emotions that come up during their child leaving for their first semester at college, CollegiateParent.com offers some tips.

On Campus

As for the students, they are adapting to their new “home” quite well. They’re getting involved in activities and clubs, and working out class schedules.

Slowly but surely, the panic button that rings mom and dad is not being pressed every time something comes up. The parents are doing their best to be hands off and let their kids spread their wings and figure it all out on their own.

Concerns about their child’s safety and security both on and off campus whether it be large or small, nearby or hours away, can cause on-going stress for parents. Both schools where these students are attending provided a great deal of information, as well as phone numbers and tips for students to stay safe.

To help ease the worry of students being on their own, the schools provided parents with the numbers they might need in case of an emergency. Google, smartphones and technology in general has also been a huge help in easing the transition from living at home to living at college. Information and answers to questions are only a click away. If that doesn’t work, parents can be reached by a text or quick call if needed.

Overall, moving day and the experience of dropping a child at college went well. It was a positive experience for both RLPS staff and their families. The most stressful part of the entire process for the parents was leaving the kids on their own and returning home without them.

An Eye on Design 

You can’t take the architect out of the parent though. We couldn’t resist asking each of our parents for their first impressions from a design perspective.

Our parent with a child attending locally admitted that the campus is eclectic. While there isn’t a cohesive style of architecture, they thought that was part of the charm. They think the buildings are well positioned and create outdoor spaces that help tie the campus together. Architecturally, they don’t find any one building particularly interesting, but overall found the campus experience thoughtful.

The out-of-state college intertwines with the city neighborhood where it is located and has no hard campus delineation. Despite the initial hesitation of their child attending classes in a big city, our staff member found the neighborhood… and campus, charming, warm and inviting. While there is a traditional campus quad, it has more of a city park feel. Their child is living in a residence hall overlooking this quad which adds to their sense of inclusion.

Our team member found three spaces that could be improved at the out-of-state college. They mentioned the esports lab, a maker space and the library at the downtown campus. Although none of these spaces were terrible, our architect found them only okay. With some reimagination and focused updates, they believe these areas could be turned into spaces to celebrate and be differentiators for the university.

Final Thought

We’re sure this year will fly by for both the students and parents. They’ll soon be packing up and moving out of the residence hall in preparation for summer jobs or internships. By next year, they’ll have all the moving and packing down pat. The students will know what they want to bring and what they don’t need. The parents will probably know exactly how many boxes to have on hand. But, in case they need a reminder, Parents.com has a checklist of things to do and pack when getting your child ready for college.

Carson Parr, AIA, LEED AP BD+C, WELL AP is a partner at RLPS Architects. He leads the firm’s higher education practice, helping clients with campus programming and planning, project design and construction. An NCARB registered architect, Carson, holds a Master of Architecture, Community and Urban Design, from Pennsylvania State University. He serves as a student mentor and is a  past president of AIA Central Pennsylvania, is co-chair of Central Pennsylvania Architect’s Foundation Fund (CPAFF) and is a York College of Pennsylvania Graham School of Business Dean’s Advisory Council Member.